The Manipulative Child -- How to
Regain Control and Raise Resilient, Resourceful, and Independent Kids by Ernest W. Swihart, Jr, MD, and Patrick D. Cotter, PhD
(Bantam Books: New York, NY) [243
[Answer 14 of 20 questions correctly to receive 12 hours of Continuing Education
Chapter 1: Manipulation-- A Clue to the
Mystery of Failure (p 1-24)
1. Self-esteem is achieved by
a. excelling above others.
b. doing things to feel good or happy.
c. overcoming difficulty.
d. avoiding fearful situations.
Chapter 2: What is Manipulation? (p 25-64)
2. When a boy behaves inappropriately, asking him why he behaved
a. might enable him to shift blame and responsibility on someone else.
b. correctly assumes that the child really knows why he misbehaved.
c. correctly assumes that misbehavior is planned and decided in advance rather than
d. is necessary in order for the boy to change his behavior.
3. As an example of seduction and coercion, the authors portray Jane as
a. a victim of sexual harassment.
b. a person who has the responsibility to say No.
c. a victim of her parents over-protectiveness.
d. a person who should be put on suicidal watch.
4. An effective treatment for parents to get a child to sleep in his own
a. Allow the child to fall asleep in their bed; then carry him back to his own bed.
b. Put the child back in his bed with no interaction as many times as it takes for the
child to stay put.
c. One of the parents should lie down with the child until he is asleep.
d. Every time the child cries out, go in and give him a reassuring pat on the back.
5. Manipulation is occurring when
a. the parent-child discussion is going nowhere.
b. the child says, Ill do my chores later.
c. the child keeps asking the parent, Why?
d. all of the above.
6. If a child is behaving very well at home but poorly at school,
it is because
a. the child is depressed.
b. the teachers are boring.
c. the child has been a successful manipulator at school.
d. the child doesnt belong at that particular school.
Chapter 4: Healthy Kids: A Pediatricians Perspective (p 79-100)
7. Which of the following is TRUE?
a. Healthy kids persist in the face of failure.
b. Healthy kids get straight As.
c. Healthy kids always keep their rooms clean.
d. Healthy kids tell their parents everything.
8. Healthy families have parents who
a. are passive and highly permissive.
b. strive to be their childs friend.
c. spend regular time together away from the children.
d. act as referees during sibling conflict.
Chapter 5: Independence and Dependence: Development (p 101-116)
9. When 3 year-old Eric began screaming that his mother buy M&Ms
at the grocery store,
a. bought the M&Ms to stop him from disrupting other shoppers.
b. left her cart right where it was and took Eric outside until he calmed down.
c. took him into the ladies restroom and gave him a spanking.
d. kept telling him No over and over again until she finally lost her temper.
Chapter 6: Becoming Manipulation-Proof (p 117-152)
10. Melanie had a horrible adolescence of drugs, alcohol, sexual escapades, and scrapes
with the law. Her divorced and single mother adopted a tough-love approach for ______ in
which she refused to participate in Melanies self-destructive behavior, never
yielding to the temptation to try and make her daughter love her.
a. six weeks
b. six months
c. one year
d. seven years
11. If a father is afraid of losing control of his temper when his child misbehaves, then
a. remove himself from the situation until he cools off.
b. go ahead and give the child what he wants. Its not worth losing your temper over
c. let the mother handle the situation.
d. go ahead and be angry verbally but not physically.
12. A mother makes a firm resolve to not be manipulated and to
keep her emotions from
permitting an avoidance behavior. After
her 8 year-old starts to loudly complain that she
is unfair and unreasonable, it would be advisable for the mother to
a. tell herself that if she gives in now, it will get worse later.
b. distract herself from the complaining with headphones, television, or a good book.
c. do something physical to relieve the tension after the crisis is over.
d. all of the above.
13. When 9 year-old Jimmy got frustrated with his video game and
said to his mother,
I cant get past level three on this stupid game,
his mother said
a. Why dont you call your friend and ask him for help?
b. I dont know why you play that game if its going to be so frustrating.
c. I know, Jimmy. Some days are just like that.
d. Turn off that television and go out to play.
Chapter 7: Shutting Down Manipulation (p 153-198)
14. During the PAUSE phase of STOP-PAUSE-REDIRECT,
a. the child must apologize for misbehavior.
b. the child must become quiet for a brief period of 15 to 30 seconds.
c. the parent should tell the child what rule was broken.
d. the parent should take away a privilege.
15. When Jon complained to his Dad about how nervous he was in
having to give a speech to his social studies class, his Dad
a. called Jons teacher to delay his sons speech for a later date.
b. told Jon to stop whining and behave like a man.
c. said to Jon I know its a pain, but you can do it and you have to.
d. used the STOP-PAUSE-REDIRECT method.
16. Jake was an oppositional child who refused to take out the garbage because he
was watching television. His parents responded by
a. sending him to his room.
b. taking away television privileges for the rest of the day.
c. asking him to take out the garbage at the next commercial break.
d. having him sit quietly in a chair twelve times before taking out the garbage.
17. When 8 year-old Brianna, an example of a victimized child, complained daily about
being insulted at school by other children,
the authors taught her parents to respond by
a. having practice sessions where Brianna smiled and agreed with the insult.
b. helping Brianna learn to ignore what other children said.
c. listening attentively each day to Briannas complaints.
d. having Brianna tell the teacher so the offenders could be punished.
18. In case of sibling rivalry where Alex and Sarah were not getting
along, their parents
required them to quietly resolve their conflicts
without aggressive behavior. If their
children did not follow these rules, then the parents would intervene with
a. removing privileges for one child, the guilty party.
b. removing privileges for both children.
c. STOP-PAUSE-REDIRECT for one child, the guilty party.
d. STOP-PAUSE-REDIRECT for both children.
Chapter 8: Raising Children Who Believe in Themselves (p 199-226)
19. Which of the following will destroy a childs self-esteem?
a. having lots of homework to do after school.
b. a steady diet of easy successes.
c. daily chores which are monotonous, boring, and mundane.
d. parents who consistently say No to an activity which is against family
20. Michael is a fourth grader and math is his best subject. He began
sloppy work on several math assignments. After the fourth sloppy assignment, his teacher
a. arranged a parent-teacher conference.
b. recommended to Michaels parents that they supervise his homework.
c. required Michael to do the assignment over.
d. asked Michael why he wasnt doing his homework as well as he should be.