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The Fantasy Fallacy -- Exposing the Deeper Meaning Behind Sexual Thoughts
by Shannon Ethridge, M.A.
(Thomas Nelson: Nashville TN)
[256 pages] All rights reserved.
[Answer 14 of 20 questions correctly to receive
10 hours of Continuing Education credit.]


Chapter 1: Why Discuss Sexual Fantasies? (p. 1-23)
1. The author defines sexual fantasies as imaginative thoughts that
a. show a person how to improve intimacy with another person.
b. decreases one's appreciation for real people.
c. fulfill some sort of psychological need.
d. usually lead to addictive behaviors.

2. The best question you should ask yourself whenever you have a sexual fantasy is
a. How can I morally fulfill this fantasy?
b. How can I ignore this fantasy so I can get on with my day?
c. Should I tell a trusted friend about this fantasy?
d. What can I learn from this fantasy?

3. When a married couple is temporarily apart from each other, it is acceptable for them to entertain healthy sexual thoughts about one another.
a. True
b. False

Chapter 2: The Benefits of Boundaries (p. 25-44)

4. Which is NOT true?
a. It is possible to divert sexual energy into a creative hobby such as painting, writing, or singing.
b. We cannot completely turn off our sexual thoughts.
c. It can be quite effective to sometimes repress our sexual desires.
d. We can choose not to act on sexual thoughts that just come into our minds (autoerotic thoughts)

5. Which of the following scenarios describes an autoerotic fantasy?
a. A wife who imagines that it might be enjoyable to try a new sexual position with her husband.
b. A man who has a sexual dream about his secretary, but does not act upon it.
c. A female college student who masturbates to thoughts of having sex with her college professor.
d. A husband and wife going on vacation without their children so they can enjoy uninterrupted sexual intimacy.

6. Which does NOT help a married person control unwanted sexual fantasies while having sex with his or her spouse?
a. Hurry up the process of foreplay in order to get rid of unwanted thoughts.
b. Keep one's eyes open to focus on one's spouse.
c. Change positions.
d. Engage in deep breathing.

Chapter 3: The Faces Behind Sexual Fantasies (p. 45-65)
7. Archetypes help us to _____ our sexual thoughts.

a. expose the deeper meaning behind
b. reject and confess
c. enhance and enjoy
d. sublimate

8. Sophia had three affairs because these men paid her more attention than her husband, Simon. When the author asked her," Wasn't this something you could have expected more of from your husband?" she answered
a. "I don't want to be married anymore to a man who cares more about video games than me."
b. "Why should I have to tell him to pay attention to me? Why did he marry me in the first place?"
c. "There's something wrong with a husband who ignores his wife."
d. "Yes, but I didn't know how to fight for it or even know how to ask for it. I assumed he should just know.

Chapter 4: Pornography -- The Fantasy Factory (p. 67-85)

9. The driving force behind pornography addiction is
a. the love of pleasure.
b. the numbing of pain from unmet emotional needs.
c. a need for excitement and variety.
d. having been the victim of childhood trauma.

10. Regular pursuit of orgasm through pornography and masturbation can lead to sexual ______, or the increasing difficulty of experiencing sexual pleasure with one's partner.
a. numbness
b. anhedonia
c. impotence
d. dissonance

Chapter 5: Bartering with Our Bodies (p. 87-103)
11. The author describes four main ways people try to fulfill their longings when pursuing love.
Which describes why a 26-year-old woman might marry a 45-year-old man?
a. The Mother Figure
b. The Father Figure
c. The Fountain of Youth
d. The Spiritual Idol

12. The author says that a fascination with women's breasts is an attempt to fulfill a longing for comfort, security, and nourishment. This attempt will always fail because only God can fulfill our deepest longings.
a. True
b. False

Chapter 6: When "One Flesh" Isn't Enough Flesh (p. 105-127)
Which is NOT true?
a. Underneath every sexual desire is an even deeper spiritual desire.
b. Marital sex is most satisfying when spouses focuses on what they can give, not get.
c. Sometimes our brains turn our emotional pain into sexual fantasies.
d. Sometimes we have to act out our fantasies in order to know what they mean.

14. A husband should go home every night and confess to his wife every instance of sexual temptation he experienced that day.
a. True
b. False

15. Which of the following influenced Brent to develop a sexual addiction?
a. He first looked at pornography when he was 7 years old.
b. His father being emotionally unavailable, often drunk, and unfaithful to Brent's mother.
c. Brent being pursued by other women because he was handsome.
d. All of the above.

Chapter 7: Grappling with Gay and Lesbian Fantasies (p. 129-151)
16. Which is NOT true?
a. Once gay, always, gay.
b. Having lesbian thoughts does not make a heterosexual woman a lesbian. It is important for her to understand from what needs these thoughts originated.
c. Charlie's involvement with male pornography was shaped by his father leaving him at the age of 3 to be raised by a manic-depressive mother who was sometimes gone for 2-3 days at a time.
d. Gail's gender confusion derived from her father dominating her mother, Gail not being pursued by boys, her tomboy persona, and her experimentation with a female roommate.

Chapter 8: Our Fascination with Pleasure, Pain, and Power (p. 153-176)
17. Which is NOT true?
a. A person who fantasizes about raping someone is most likely compensating for an extreme sense of helplessness in the past.
b. People who fantasize about being raped are perhaps very passive persons, and the idea of someone dominating them and making sexual decisions for them is appealing. Or these victims might have repressed sexuality from their upbringing, and therefore their fantasy absolves them of feeling guilty for what is happening.
c. Sometimes fantasies have to be acted out in order to get rid of them.
d. Adults who think about having sex with a children might be afraid of losing their sex appeal.

18. Which is NOT true?
a. Married people who want to sexually dominate their spouses most likely felt out of control and dominated by a significant person in their past. Perhaps they experienced verbal, emotional, physical, or sexual abuse.
b. Married people who want to be dominated sexually (submissive) enjoy relinquishing control, perhaps so they don't have to feel responsibility, guilt, or anxiety because they were "forced to do it."
c. God's plan for our sexual pleasure does not include doing things that cause others pain.
d. People who look at "torture porn" do so because they love sexual variety.

19. _______ occurs when someone bonds with an object rather than a person (usually early in life), sexualizing that object and deriving pleasure from it while alone or with a partner.
a. Bondage
b. Masochism
c. Fetishism
d. Domination

Chapter 9: Putting Fantasy in Its Place (p.177-196)

20. What helped the author resist a flirtatious lunch invitation?
a. She took note of how purposeful and meaningful her life was.
b. She wisely did not trust the stranger's real intentions.
c. She thought, "Why stir up insatiable yearnings that lead to heartbreak?"
d. She considered that God does grant mercy for forgiveness of sin, but He also grants grace to avoid that sin in the first place.
e. She knew that the reality of her husband's love is far better than fantasy love.
f. She wanted real intimacy with God rather than the misguided passions of an affair.
g. All of the above.