Chapter 1: Why Discuss Sexual Fantasies? (p. 1-23)
1. The author defines sexual fantasies as imaginative thoughts that
a. show a person how to improve intimacy with another person.
b. decreases one's appreciation for real people.
c. fulfill some sort of psychological need.
d. usually lead to addictive behaviors.
2. The best question you should ask yourself whenever you
have a sexual fantasy is
a. How can I morally fulfill this fantasy?
b. How can I ignore this fantasy so I can get on with my day?
c. Should I tell a trusted friend about this fantasy?
d. What can I learn from this fantasy?
3. When a married couple is temporarily apart from each other, it is
acceptable for them to entertain healthy sexual thoughts about one another.
Chapter 2: The Benefits of Boundaries (p. 25-44)
4. Which is NOT true?
a. It is possible to divert sexual energy into a creative hobby such as
painting, writing, or singing.
b. We cannot completely turn off our sexual thoughts.
c. It can be quite effective to sometimes repress our sexual desires.
d. We can choose not to act on sexual thoughts that just come into our minds
5. Which of the following scenarios describes an
a. A wife who imagines that it might be enjoyable to try a new sexual
position with her husband.
b. A man who has a sexual dream about his secretary, but does not act upon
c. A female college student who masturbates to thoughts of having sex with
her college professor.
d. A husband and wife going on vacation without their children so they can
enjoy uninterrupted sexual intimacy.
6. Which does NOT help a married person control unwanted
sexual fantasies while having sex with his or her spouse?
a. Hurry up the process of foreplay in order to get rid of unwanted
b. Keep one's eyes open to focus on one's spouse.
c. Change positions.
d. Engage in deep breathing.
Chapter 3: The Faces Behind Sexual Fantasies (p. 45-65)
7. Archetypes help us to _____ our sexual thoughts.
a. expose the deeper meaning behind
b. reject and confess
c. enhance and enjoy
8. Sophia had three affairs because these men paid her
more attention than her husband, Simon. When the author asked her," Wasn't
this something you could have expected more of from your husband?" she
a. "I don't want to be married anymore to a man who cares more about
video games than me."
b. "Why should I have to tell him to pay attention to me? Why did he marry
me in the first place?"
c. "There's something wrong with a husband who ignores his wife."
d. "Yes, but I didn't know how to fight for it or even know how to ask for
it. I assumed he should just know."
Chapter 4: Pornography -- The Fantasy Factory (p. 67-85)
9. The driving force behind pornography addiction is
a. the love of pleasure.
b. the numbing of pain from unmet emotional needs.
c. a need for excitement and variety.
d. having been the victim of childhood trauma.
10. Regular pursuit of orgasm through pornography and
masturbation can lead to sexual ______, or the increasing difficulty of
experiencing sexual pleasure with one's partner.
Chapter 5: Bartering with Our Bodies (p. 87-103)
11. The author describes four main ways people try to fulfill their longings
when pursuing love.
Which describes why a 26-year-old woman might marry a 45-year-old man?
a. The Mother Figure
b. The Father Figure
c. The Fountain of Youth
d. The Spiritual Idol
12. The author says that a fascination with women's breasts is an attempt to
fulfill a longing for comfort, security, and nourishment. This attempt will
always fail because only God can fulfill our deepest longings.
Chapter 6: When "One Flesh" Isn't Enough Flesh (p.
13. Which is NOT true?
a. Underneath every sexual desire is
an even deeper spiritual desire.
b. Marital sex is most satisfying when spouses focuses on what they
can give, not get.
c. Sometimes our brains turn our emotional pain into sexual fantasies.
d. Sometimes we have to act out our fantasies in order to know what they
14. A husband should go home every night and confess to his wife every
instance of sexual temptation he experienced that day.
15. Which of the following influenced Brent to develop a
a. He first looked at pornography when he was 7 years old.
b. His father being emotionally unavailable, often drunk, and unfaithful to
c. Brent being pursued by other women because he was handsome.
d. All of the above.
Chapter 7: Grappling with Gay and Lesbian Fantasies (p.
16. Which is NOT true?
a. Once gay, always, gay.
b. Having lesbian thoughts does not make a heterosexual woman a lesbian. It
is important for her to understand from what needs these thoughts
c. Charlie's involvement with male pornography was shaped by his father
leaving him at the age of 3 to be raised by a manic-depressive mother who
was sometimes gone for 2-3 days at a time.
d. Gail's gender confusion derived from her father dominating her mother,
Gail not being pursued by boys, her tomboy persona, and her experimentation
with a female roommate.
Chapter 8: Our Fascination with Pleasure, Pain, and Power (p. 153-176)
17. Which is NOT true?
a. A person who fantasizes about raping someone is most likely
compensating for an extreme sense of helplessness in the past.
b. People who fantasize about being raped are perhaps very passive persons,
and the idea of someone dominating them and making sexual decisions for them
is appealing. Or these victims might have repressed sexuality from their
upbringing, and therefore their fantasy absolves them of feeling guilty for
what is happening.
c. Sometimes fantasies have to be acted out in order to get rid of them.
d. Adults who think about having sex with a children might be afraid of
losing their sex appeal.
18. Which is NOT true?
a. Married people who want to sexually dominate their spouses most
likely felt out of control and dominated by a significant person in their
past. Perhaps they experienced verbal, emotional, physical, or sexual abuse.
b. Married people who want to be dominated sexually (submissive) enjoy
relinquishing control, perhaps so they don't have to feel responsibility,
guilt, or anxiety because they were "forced to do it."
c. God's plan for our sexual pleasure does not include doing things that
cause others pain.
d. People who look
at "torture porn" do so because they love sexual variety.
19. _______ occurs when someone bonds with an object rather than a person
(usually early in life), sexualizing that object and deriving pleasure from
it while alone or with a partner.
Chapter 9: Putting Fantasy in Its Place (p.177-196)
20. What helped the author resist a flirtatious lunch invitation?
a. She took note of how purposeful and meaningful her life was.
b. She wisely did not trust the stranger's real intentions.
c. She thought, "Why stir up insatiable yearnings that lead to heartbreak?"
d. She considered that God does grant mercy for forgiveness of sin, but He
also grants grace to avoid that sin in the first place.
e. She knew that the reality of her husband's love is far better than
f. She wanted real intimacy with God rather than the misguided passions of
g. All of the above.