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Raising Respectful Children in a Disrespectful World
by Jill Rigby © 2006. All rights reserved.
(Howard Books, a division of Simon & Schuster: New York, NY)
[Answer 14 of 20 questions correctly to receive 8 hours of Continuing Education credit].
Chapter 1: What Went Wrong? (p. 5-13)
1. The author believes that self-respect in children is best developed when parents
a. teach self-esteem.
b. let their children make their own decisions.
c. teach self-discipline and self-control.
d. provide many experiences of happiness.

Chapter 2: Where Have All the Parents Gone? (p. 15-29)
2. Which is NOT a parental recommendation in this chapter?
a. In the first two years of your child’s life, establish routine feeding and sleeping schedules to help your child develop trust.
b. Don’t stop talking to your adult friend to give your child your attention. This just reinforces your child’s selfishness and disrespect.
c. Four-year-olds can increase their sense of acceptance and belonging by helping with household chores.
d. Because children are born with an inclination to disobey their parents, saying “No” is one of the best ways to satisfy the child’s need for love.

3. A teenager’s greatest hope in answering the question “Who Am I?” comes from
a. doing their best in school and/or sports.
b. discovering his or her gifts, skills, and interests.
c. developing solid friendships with peers.
d. having a loving connection to his or her parents.

Chapter 4: Stress Purpose, not Performance (p. 51-65)
4. All of the following will help children to discover their strengths and interests EXCEPT
a. saying to them, “Better luck next time,” after they come in 2nd in a contest.
b. taking them to museums and doing arts and crafts projects.
c. reading good books, including classics and biographies.
d. spending time exploring nature and the outdoors.

5. Parents should guard against producing perfectionism in their children because perfectionism will make their children
a. too critical of themselves and others.
b. not accepting of themselves, especially their shortcomings.
c. procrastinate making decisions out of fear-of-failure.
d. all of the above.

Chapter 5: Coach; Don’t Cheerlead (p. 67-83)
6. False praise from a parent doesn’t tell the truth about the child’s behavior, it diminishes the child’s trust in the parent, it undermines the child’s ambition to improve, it fails to give guidance on how to improve, and it serves the parent’s need to feel good rather than making the child feel good. Which of the following is a good thing to say after a child fails to make a game-winning play?
a. “Don’t worry. You just had a bad game. You’ll do better next time.”
b. “Shake it off. That one bad play doesn’t change the fact that you’re a great player.”
c. “I know you’re very upset about your performance. I’d be happy to help you practice your skills later this week if you want.”
d. “That play wasn’t your fault. Besides, winning isn’t everything.”

7. When it became clear that the author’s son, Chad, who loved playing football, was never going to grow big enough to be a great player, the author
a. encouraged him to try out for other sports.
b. had him watch the inspirational movie, “Rudy”, where a small player tries to play for the Notre Dame football team.
c. praised him for playing with enthusiasm and an unselfish attitude.
d. told him he just might be a great player someday after he made a key interception.

Chapter 6: Set Boundaries without Building Walls (p. 85-97)
8. Many husbands and wives simply don’t agree on what boundaries to set for their children. Some parents are too lenient and others are too strict. Yet if the parents do not present a unified front to their children, the children will play one parent against the other, siding with the more lenient parent. What is the best way for parents to present a unified front to their children?
a. The wife should always submit to the husband’s opinion, since he is the leader of the family.
b. The parents should ask the children’s opinion as to what boundaries would be best for them.
c. Have fewer boundaries when the kids are young and many when they are older.
d. The husband and wife should resolve their disagreements in private and decide on the non-negotiable boundaries they will both enforce with their children.

9. Which are NOT boundaries specifically recommend in this chapter?
a. Expecting 13 to 16 year-olds to maintain 8 hours of sleep each night, to exercise regularly, and to be home before dark.
b. Expecting tots and tykes to say, “Please” and “Thank You,” to not walk away from Mom and Dad in public places, and to share toys with friends.
c. Expecting 6 to 12 year-olds to tell the whole truth, to complete homework before free time, and to apologize after hurting someone’s feelings.
d. Expecting 13 to 16 year-olds to practice sexual purity by not viewing R-rated movies, not using coarse language, and not spending time alone with the opposite sex.

Chapter 7: Use Discipline, Not Punishment (p. 99-116)
10. Which is NOT an appropriate example of discipline?
a. Using time-out when a 3 to 6 year-old breaks a rule.
b. A mother has her 13 year-old daughter walk behind her in the mall after she makes a sarcastic remark to a store clerk.
c. Taking away television for several days after a 12 year-old watches TV before finishing homework.
d. Taking away the telephone for several days after a 12 year-old daughter breaks a rule about the telephone.

The goal of discipline is not to punish, but to change a behavior pattern. -- p. 111

11. Which is the MOST effective way to ask or tell Sally to clean up her room?
a. “Sally, would you like to go clean up your room right now?”
b. “Sally, it’s time to clean your room.”
c. “Sally, how many times do I have to tell you to go clean your room?”
d. “Go clean your room.”

Chapter 8: Shield Your Treasures from the Trash -- Magazines, Books and Music (p. 117-129)
12. Samuel Taylor Coleridge, the great English poet of the Romantic period, once asked a visitor is he would like to see his garden. The man said he would, but when he saw the garden, it was nothing but weeds. When he was asked why this was, Coleridge answered, “I did not wish to infringe upon the liberty of the garden in any way. I was just giving the garden a chance to express itself and choose its own production.” The author uses this story to reinforce which principle?
a. Children must be allowed as much free expression as possible.
b. It’s impossible to shield children from everything immoral.
c. Children must be protected from harmful messages in our culture.
d. Shielding children from immorality actually robs them of the freedom to choose.

13. Which is NOT true?
a. Soft pornography, materialism, greed, and violence are rampant in today’s teen magazines.
b. Boys exposed to sexual images lose respect for girls because they are wrongly taught that girls are objects of men’s pleasure.
c. Teenagers do not respect other teenagers who take a stand against immorality.
d. Some of the best our culture has to offer children is found in Bible stories, old children’s books, classical music, and museums.

Chapter 9: Shield Your Treasures from the Trash -- Movies, TV,
Video Games, and the Internet (p. 131-146)

14. Which of the following organizations is NOT recommended by the author?
a. Nickelodeon television.
b. Citizens for Community Values (CCV).
c. Family Research Council (FRC).
d. The Agape Press.

For reliable information on children’s television:

15. The average age of first Internet exposure to pornography is
a. eleven.
b. twelve.
c. thirteen.
d. fourteen.

Chapter 10: Engage; Don’t Entertain (p. 147-161)
16. In order to help develop a child’s imagination, the author recommends that no more than ___ of a child’s time be spent on electronic entertainment.
a. 10%
b. 25%
c. 50%
d. 75%

17. After spending nine years in Brazil with their missionary parents, the Mills children all grew up and developed various creative skills in the following EXCEPT
a. woodworking, singing, and cooking.
b. the Celtic harp and portrait work.
c. painting and art.
d. writing music, poetry, and baking bread.
e. botany and natural medicine.

Chapter 11: Teach Gratefulness; Not Greediness (p. 163-175)
18. The author teaches manners because they help children to focus on others. Which is NOT a suggestion made by the author?
a. Teach 3 to 5 year-old to say, “Yes, Ma’am”, and “Yes, Sir.”
b. Allow some back talk, which is just children expressing their emotions in a harmless way.
c. Expect 6 to 12 year-old to clean their rooms and bathrooms without assistance.
d. Teach 13 to 19 year-olds to help serve and clean up when eating at a friend’s house.

19. A classic scenario of parenting is waiting in line at the grocery store while their young children beg for a candy bar. If this continues, parents should
a. pop the little tykes on their bottoms for being disrespectful.
b. raise their voices louder than their children to demonstrate that they are stronger and will not give in.
c. go ahead and buy the candy bars.
d. stay calm, lower their voices to a whisper, and don’t give in.

Chapter 12: Listen to the Children (p. 177-180)
20. The greatest thing a parent can do to raise a respectful child is to
a. teach manners.
b. provide a college education.
c. require them to complete chores.
d. listen to the child.