Chapter 1: A
Wake-Up Call Regarding the Extent and Power of Abuse (p. 11-21)
1. Which is NOT true about abuse?
a. Most Christian leaders are well aware of the extent of abuse in their
b. In the Bible, even some religious leaders and mature believers committed
c. Satan is real and uses abuse to try to destroy individuals physically,
emotionally, relationally, and spiritually.
d. Although no one can offer a fully satisfactory answer for why God allows
evil and suffering, God is deeply moved by human suffering, He is sovereign
over evil, and He seeks to bring healing and restoration out of every act of
Chapter 2: Abuse as a Perversion of the Image of God (p. 22-37)
2. Most adolescents who are self-mutilators (cutting themselves) do so
a. one or both parents are alcoholics.
b. they have been sexually abused.
c. they are low achievers.
d. their friends are cutters.
3. When Christy finally told her senior pastor that the youth pastor had
engaged in a sexualized relationship with her over an extended period of
time, the senior pastor tore up her documentation into tiny pieces and told
her that the Bible teaches us to forgive others. The senior pastor’s
response would be accurately described as
a. sexual abuse, making him a silent partner to the youth pastor’s
b. neglect abuse, ignoring Christy’s account of what really happened.
c. spiritual abuse, misusing his spiritual authority to deny the damage
being done to Christy.
d. verbal abuse, essentially calling Christy a liar by disregarding her
Chapter 3: Profiles of Abusers (p. 38-53)
4. The “banality of evil” was a phrase coined to describe the quite ordinary
and commonplace appearance of Adolph Eichmann, who helped orchestrate the
murders of 6 million Jews in Nazi death camps. It is used by the author
because “evil doesn’t look like evil”: abusers cannot be predicted by race,
occupation, demeanor, education level, or facial features. However, there
are some identifiable behaviors that are characteristic of abusers.
For example, when a husband says that he beat his wife because he had lost
control due to alcohol or because she provoked him verbally, he is
exhibiting the characteristic of
a. denial of responsibility.
b. bold deceitfulness.
c. harsh judgmentalism.
d. calculated intimidation.
5. Which is NOT true about adult child molesters?
a. Eighty to ninety percent of adult child molesters are male.
b. Most child molesters were themselves sexually abused as children.
c. Child molesters are rarely caught.
d. The majority of sex-offenders had fathers who were cold, distant,
hostile, and aggressive. They had conflicted relationships with their
mothers. They experienced higher rates of physical abuse.
6. All of the following are true about pedophiles EXCEPT
a. Most pedophiles first began molesting children when they themselves
b. Many experts believe that pedophiles cannot be cured because their sexual
proclivity toward children is often the most resistant to treatment.
c. Pedophiles relate much better to children than to adults.
d. Most pedophiles use physical force with their victims.
Chapter 4: Portrait of an Abusive Family (p. 54-70)
7. Which of the following is NOT a characteristic of abusive families?
a. Victims of abuse are treated as expendable, not valuable, in abusive
families. Rather than being protected they are used to meet the sordid needs
b. Communication is unhealthy in abusive families. It is often ambiguous,
deceptive, dishonest, demeaning, and destructive.
c. Reasonable arguments will often persuade abusers to stop their abuse,
especially logical Biblical arguments.
d. Abusers are emotionally unstable. They can show love and kindness, and
then switch to abuse and rage.
8. Why does most abuse go undetected?
a. Families in which abuse is taking place don’t “look abusive” from
their outward appearance. Therefore, abuse is difficult to notice.
b. Most victims of abuse are afraid to report it because of threats and
intimidation from the abuser.
c. If abuse victims do report abuse, they are often in danger of not being
believed or even ostracized for telling their stories.
d. All of the above.
Chapter 5: Shame (p. 73-91)
9. When parents abuse their children, why do the children wrongly blame
themselves for the abuse?
a. Parental abuse produces toxic shame. Even if the children haven’t
done anything morally wrong, they feel worthless and unforgivable.
b. Children need love and nurture so much they cannot conceive of their
parents being bad or evil.
c. Children tend to believe that their parents say about them, even if its
d. All of the above.
10. Which is NOT an appropriate way to overcome destructive shame?
a. Abuse victims should only take responsibility for abuse they brought
b. Abuse victims should base their worth on what God thinks about them, as
revealed in the Bible, such as nothing can separate us from God’s love
c. It is biblical to pray that our abusers will be filled with shame so that
they may repent and that they’ll be punished and destroyed if they do not.
d. Reject shameful messages given by abusers.
Chapter 6: Powerlessness and Deadness (p. 92-108)
11. Adolescent girls who have been sexually violated may become highly
a. because they tend to have fewer moral boundaries.
b. as a subconscious attempt to regain a sense of control over the very act
that made them feel so powerless.
c. because the sexual abuse awakens their sexual desire.
d. because they hang around with the wrong crowd.
12. When an abuse survivor describes how, during the abuse, she felt as
if she had left her body and was somewhere else, this experience is called
13. Of the following, which effect of trauma is CHOSEN by the victims of
a. having reoccurring nightmares.
b. experiencing panic attacks years after the abuse occurred.
d. deadening (numbing) themselves in response to their pain instead of
turning to God for strength and healing.
Chapter 7: Isolation (p. 109-127)
14. In a large-scale study of incest victims, Diana Russell found that ___
of adult Catholic and Protestant incest victims had defected from their
15. When Ingrid was driving in the car, she became enraged inside herself
when her daughter picked up her hand and kissed it. Why?
a. Because her daughter was trying to manipulate Ingrid.
b. Because Ingrid’s own mother had never been affectionate with her.
c. Because Ingrid did not feel worthy of her daughter’s love. Instead, she
d. Because the daughter had just been disciplined and was trying to regain
favor with Ingrid.
Chapter 8: Facing the Brokenness (p. 131-156)
16. Which is NOT an attitude Christians should have about revisiting their
a. For the most part, Christians should “forget what lies behind”
b. Christians who face their own brokenness can then entrust themselves to
God’s love and healing instead of relying upon their own damaging
techniques, like numbing their emotions.
c. Revisiting the past allows Christians to stop blaming themselves for the
d. Reinterpreting past trauma helps Christians to set appropriate boundaries
with friends and family members today.
17. Denying that an abusive event was really abusive is so common that
abuse counselors are advised to ask a question such as
a. Did either of your parents abuse you in any way?
b. Were you ever molested as a child?
c. As a child, were you ever touched in such a way that made you feel
d. Have you ever known someone that was sexually abused as a child?
18. When an abuse survivor is retelling her story of abuse, it is
possible that at the time of the abuse, dissociation and emotional
construction may have taken place so quickly and thoroughly that she may
find it nearly impossible to identify the emotions she felt. What does the
author say could help her identify what she truly felt at the time of the
a. She could picture a child at the same age she was when the abuse took
place, and imagine what the child would feel if she experienced the same
b. She could visualize the abuser locked up in jail.
c. She could draw a picture of herself right after the abuse took place.
d. She could watch a movie of a girl who had been sexually abused.
19. The author’s wife, Celestia, counseled a thirty-year-old single
professional woman who hated her femininity, and suppressed an effervescent
and vivacious personality she had as a child. What had caused these changes?
a. Her father was an alcoholic.
b. her father wrongly humiliated and shamed her whenever she expressed
c. Her father sexually abused her.
d. Her father was physically abusive.
20. The author speaks of an Old Testament book which teaches us how to
mourn overwhelming losses and yet find hope in God. It was written by a
prophet who witnessed the brutal Babylonians besiege Jerusalem, starve its
inhabitants so that parents were reduced to eating their own children, tear
down the city walls, demolish the temple, rape the women, publicly execute
the civic leaders, and deport most of the remaining Jews to Mesopotamia.
This is the book of
Chapter 9: Rebuilding Intimacy with God (p. 157-179)
21. Abuse survivors who believe in a good, loving God face agonizing
struggles to understand why God allowed their abuse, why He did not
intervene, and why in His justice He did not annihilate their evil abusers.
Like Jacob in Genesis 32, they must truly wrestle with God.
What does true biblical wrestling with God look like?
a. Wrestle with God until He answers all your questions, especially the
question: Why did He not prevent your abuse?
b. Keep expressing your hurt and frustrations to God until He responds to
c. Tell God some of your frustrations, but not the worst ones, holding back
out of respect for God.
d. Even though you inwardly experience doubt and turmoil, your outward
expressions must appear poised and confident in God’s sovereignty so His
reputation is not diminished in the eyes of others.
22. For a woman who was chronically abused by her earthly father, what
would help reduce her fear that God, her heavenly Father, might harm her as
a. She could imagine God as genderless.
b. She could begin to call God “Mother”, doing away altogether with the
image of God as “Father.”
c. She could picture herself as a child than as an adult because Jesus
especially loved children.
d. From the Bible, she could rediscover the true character of God as a
tender, loving father; of Jesus as a compassionate advocate for women,
children, the broken, and the vulnerable; and as God as a powerful judge of
23. How is the cross of Christ relevant to an abuse survivor?
a. The cross proves that God cares about human suffering and misery when
He allowed Christ His Son to suffer and die for us.
b. Jesus personally understands the horrors of abuse, having been verbally
abused, mocked, whipped, slapped, beaten, tortured, spit upon, publicly
stripped and nailed to a cross. Christ thoroughly knows the pain of abuse.
c. Christ’s death on the cross began the overthrow of Satan and evil so that
someday all abuse will come to an end.
d. All of the above.
Chapter 10: Forgiveness (p. 180-194)
24. Which of the following best summarizes the author’s understanding of
biblical forgiveness as applied by victims to their abusers?
a. Victims must treat their abusers’ apologies as genuine, especially
when the abuse has been made public, and be quick to forgive them so victims
are no longer governed by bitterness.
b. Abuse victims need to “let go” of their anger toward abusers, “let go” of
their desire for punishment, stop talking about what the abuser did, and not
report the abuser to the authorities, especially if it will harm the
family’s or church’s reputation.
c. Abuse victims must not take revenge on the abuser, but they can hold
abusers accountable for what they did, praying for God’s judgment on
unrepentant abusers. Victims can extend grace, mostly through prayer for the
abuser’s healing, and should put strong boundaries in place to prevent
d. Abuse victims should rely solely upon advice from their pastor, minister,
or spiritual advisor, since forgiveness is primarily a spiritual matter, and
the Bible is unequivocally clear on how to apply the teachings on
forgiveness to abusers.
Epilogue: A Word from Mary (p. 195-197)
25. As a healing abuse survivor, Mary gives parting words to the reader.
Which does she NOT say?
a. Be very careful to support and believe the victim.
b. Remember that healing from abuse takes a long time.
c. Allow the victim to be angry at God, at the abuser, even at you.
d. Don’t hesitate to rebuke a victim when she is being mean or harsh.