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How to Really Parent Your Child --
Anticipating What a Child Needs Instead of Reacting to What a Child Does

by Ross Campbell, M.D. with Robb Suggs  © 2005
(W Publishing Group: Nashville, TN) [214 pages]
[Answer 11 of 15 questions correctly to receive 11 hours of Continuing Education credit.]


Chapter 1: The Parenting Crossroad (p. 1-14)
1. Dr. Campbell advocates proactive parenting, a style of parenting that
a. reacts to the child’s misbehavior.
b. is based on the child’s long-term needs.
c. is similar to the parenting styles of our parents and grandparents.
d. is based on behavior modification principles.

Chapter 2: Beginning with Love (p. 15-38)

2. The author says that parents can fill up their children’s emotional love tank by
a. saying “I love you” to them every day.
b. providing a balance of love and discipline.
c. first meeting their physical needs for food, clothing, and shelter.
d. making eye contact, touching them, and giving them focused attention.

Chapter 3: Basic Training -- The Discipline Puzzle (p. 39-67)

3. The most important part of discipline is for parents to make their child
a. obey.
b. be sorry for wrong behavior.
c. feel loved.
d. know the difference between right and wrong.

4. When a child misbehaves, the first question parents should ask themselves is
a. “Does my child need their emotional love tank filled?”
b. “How many minutes in time-out would be appropriate for this misbehavior?”
c. “What’s the quickest way to stop this misbehavior?”
d. “Is this a physical problem (in pain, sick, tired, thirsty, hungry)?”

1. Requests
2. Commands
3. Gentle Physical Manipulation
4. Punishment
5. Behavior Modification

5. If requests don’t work, then parents need to use commands. Commands should be made
a. in a musical, soothing voice.
b. with a promise of consequences for misbehavior.
c. with a loud, stern voice.
d. with a pleasant but firm tone of voice.

6. For which of the following situations would behavioral modification NOT be helpful?
a. in a home where the parents show little unconditional love.
b. with severe behavioral problems caused by sibling rivalry.
c. with specific, recurring behavioral problems when a child shows no remorse.
d. an early teen girl having communicational conflict with her mother.

Chapter 4: The Power of Protection (p. 68-92)

7. A child is more likely to abandon his parents’ faith if the parents
a. have any inconsistencies of their own.
b. create anger or resentment in him.
c. disagree with him gently and patiently.
d. express their feelings with “I” messages.

Chapter 5: Diffusing the Anger Explosion (p. 93-116)

8. The best way for a parent to help a child with anger is
a. to punish the child for it.
b. to tell the child to stop being that way.
c. to express disappointment for such behavior.
d. to encourage the child to verbalize it.

9. Which is NOT an indication of stealth anger?
a. experimentation with drugs.
b. a sudden pattern of F’s.
c. a stubbornly messy room.
d. active disobedience.

10. When a mother hears unpleasant remarks from her daughter, the mother takes a moment to think to herself: “I’m not going to let my child’s anger get the better of me. This is just a normal part of growing up for her. Even though it’s unpleasant, I’d rather have her bring her anger to me than take it outside our home. I know I love my child and I’m going to handle it with love instead of striking back. After all, God says that ‘Love is patient, love is kind,…it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.’” (I Corinthians 13) This type of thinking on the mother’s part is called
a. rationalization: she is excusing her child’s irresponsible behavior.
b. avoidance: she is afraid to take action against her daughter.
c. constructive self-talk: she is controlling her own anger to her daughter’s remarks.
d. delusional: the mother is trying to say that a bad thing is really something good.

Chapter 6: Confronting the Media Monster (p. 117-131)

11. The author advises parents to
a. put their children’s computers in their bedrooms.
b. keep informed about the latest technology.
c. not ask questions about a movie their teenager went to see.
d. allow their children to watch as much television as they want as long as their homework is finished.

Chapter 7: Nurturing Young Spirits (p. 132-146)

12. Nothing will teach children more about the powerful reality of God than seeing their parents model the practice of
a. forgiveness.
b. servanthood.
c. generosity.
d. patience

Chapter 8: Coping with Fear, Anxiety and Depression (p. 147-163)

13. Which is TRUE about depression in children?
a. Depression is over diagnosed in boys.
b. Boys have twice the rate of depression that girls have.
c. Managed care companies have made it easier for parents to have a child evaluated for psychological problems.
d. A major factor in childhood depression is the loss of extended families where, in a career driven, mobile society there are fewer grandparents, aunts, and uncles around to provide that extra layer of nurture and reassurance that blessed so many children of past generations.

Chapter 10: Q and A with Dr Campbell (p. 185-194)

14. If a teenage son is uncomfortable with physical affection, then
a. his parents should not touch him.
b. his emotional love tank is full right now and he doesn’t need physical affection.
c. his parents should just be more casual and nonchalant about touching him.
d. his parents should replace physical affection with talking and laughing.

Chapter 11: Parting Words (p. 195-198)

15. In a poll conducted by George Barna, the number one thing that children wanted from their parents was
a. more time and more focused attention.
b. respect and dignity.
c. unconditional love.
d. purpose and meaning.