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Getting Them Sober -- A Guide for Those Living with an Alcoholic (Volume 2)
by Toby Rice Drews
  1983 (Bridge Publishing, Inc: South Plainfield, NJ)  All rights reserved [197 pages].
[Answer 25 of 35 questions correctly to receive
6 hours of Continuing Education credit.]

Chapter 1: Your Children (p. 1-9)
1. If the children of an alcoholic parent grew up and become alcoholic themselves, it means that the non-alcoholic did not do enough to stop the disease.
a. True
b. False

2. All family members neurotically "adjust" to the alcoholic's addictive pattern. Without treatment from Al-Anon or Al-Ateen, they keep this problem throughout their lives. It "sets in" and gets worse.
a. True
b. False

Chapter 2: Adult Children of Alcoholics (p. 10-21)

3. It would be helpful for an alcoholic, while he is still drinking, to go to a psychiatrist to find out the root causes of his alcoholism in the hopes that eventually he will be able to stop drinking.
a. True
b. False

4. Which is a constructive way for a family member to think about Al-Anon?
a. I don't need to go if I'm strong enough.
b. Therapy would be more helpful.
c. I'll go for a couple of months to see if it's helpful.
d. Al-Anon will make me think about alcoholism more than I want to think about it.

Chapter 3: What If You Are Separated and Your Alcoholic Says He'll Get Help? (p. 22-30)
5. For an alcoholic to have a good chance of staying sober, Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) recommends attending
a. whenever you can.
b. one meeting per week.
c. several meetings per week.
d. ninety meetings in ninety days.

6. It's generally a good idea for wives to go back to their alcoholic husbands right after they begin attending AA meetings, in order to be supportive.
a. True
b. False

Chapter 4: What to Expect from Your Spouse's Sobriety (p. 31-37)
7. Often the family, understandably, doesn't realize the damage that alcohol has done to the alcoholic's brain. Many alcoholics in AA find that it takes _____ to get over their withdrawal. Their symptoms may range from pretty bad depression to very bad compulsion to drink, to tremendous anxiety, paranoia, agitation, inability to sit still, lack of concentration, restlessness, nightmares, muscle spasms, sleeplessness, and uncontrollable, seemingly uncaused feelings of rage.
a. 90 days
b. six months
c. one year
d. six to thirty months

8. A recovering alcoholic's withdrawal from the drug of alcohol goes through ups and downs of feeling good and bad, and so on. During the bad times, a wife should just quietly endure his nasty behavior, knowing that it will eventually get better.
a. True
b. False

Chapter 5: His "Good Stuff" Is as Hooking as His "Bad Stuff" (p. 38-47)
9. When Mariette's husband gave her a beautiful romantic card, her therapist told her
a. this could mean that her husband was getting better.
b. the card was manipulative. Her husband's disease of alcoholism wanted his wife to drop her demand for him to get treatment.

10. How can a wife recognize true, decent behavior from her husband's old "hooking patterns"? Decent behavior comes from sober behavior that stays sober, with no game playing.
a. True
b. False

Chapter 6: Carrying Excited Misery into your Next Relationship (p. 48-57)

11. In a healthy, peaceful home,
a. there are few roller-coaster ups and downs.
b. spouses don't spend a lot of time discussing their problems, except in times of crises.
c. there does not seem to be a deep soul connection every time spouses talk to each other.
d. All of the above

12. When visiting her sister who was still married to an alcoholic, Lana decided to protect herself from getting drawn into the "craziness" with her sister's husband by
a. refraining from offering advice about what her sister should and should not do.
b. being compassionate and detached at the same time.
c. cutting the visit short in a gracious way.
d. All of the above.

Chapter 7: Being Good to Yourself Is Your Quickest and Best Therapy (p. 58-66)

13. Many wives of alcoholic husbands wrongly think that if they don't excel at their roles of being wife and mother, their husbands will leave them. The author suggests that the best way for a wife to change this thinking pattern is to ignore her feelings of irrational guilt and behave in a healthy way, beginning with small ways of being good to herself.
a. True
b. False

Chapter 8: How Do I Know if He's Sincere This Time about Staying Sober? (p. 67-75)

14. Of the following, which demonstrates the alcoholic's greatest sincerity about staying sober?
a. When he checks himself into a treatment center.
b. When he tells his wife every day for 90 days he has not had a drop of alcoholic.
c. When he brings a white chip home, proving that he has been to 90 AA meetings in 90 days.
d. When he regularly goes to AA meetings, treats his family well, and has a decent outlook in life, even though he feels rotten while going through withdrawal.

15. A wife of an alcoholic should have high expectations of her husband staying sober once he begins his recovery.
a. True
b. False

Chapter 9: If It's Good for You, It's Good for Him (p. 78-83)

16. It's hard for the alcoholic to learn to give joyfully without resentment, and it's very hard for the non-alcoholic to learn how to take joyfully without guilt.
a. True
b. False

17. When a wife of an alcoholic feels guilty about taking instead of always giving, giving, giving, she should remember
a. "That's your disease talking."
b. "If it's good for you, it's good for him."
c. "A joyful heart is good medicine." (Proverbs 17:22)
d. All of the above.

Chapter 10: Verb Love Versus Noun Love (p. 84-88)

18. The author says there is a way for a wife of an alcoholic husband to stay in the marriage without being hooked, where "hooked" means all the ways that the alcoholic tries to make his wife feel guilt, pity, rage, and worry so that she will rescue him and take care of his disease. How can she stay in this marriage and not be hooked?
a. By paying more attention to what her husband does than to what he says.
b. By realizing that it's his disease, and not her husband, that is trying to make her feel neurotic feelings.
c. By saying "No" to the disease as a way of separating herself from the hooking, neurotic feelings that prevent her from living out her own life happily and fruitfully while he works out his problem.
d. All of the above

Chapter 11: Nothing Makes You Feel Crazier Than Sexual Games (p. 89-97)
19. When the alcoholic husband "puffs himself up" at his wife's expense by pretending to be interested in another woman, the author recommends that a wife respond by
a. getting upset at her husband.
b. asking him what her name is and where did he meet her.
c. looking at him as if she is on top of the situation, smile, and change the subject.
d. call their minister and report her husband's adulterous behavior.

Chapter 12: If Your Alcoholic Spouse -- or Someone Else -- Says That You Have a Drinking Problem (p. 98-106)

20. When an alcoholic husband told his wife that she was an alcoholic and that his Al-Anon group was praying for her, the author advised the wife to say

a. "Thank you. I need all the prayers I can get.
b. "I don't have a drinking problem. You do."
c. "I don't need your prayers."
d. nothing. Just hang up the phone.

21. At the end of this chapter, the author advises those who want to determine if they have a problem with alcohol to

a. take the twenty-question test at the back of Getting Them Sober, Volume 1
b. see if they can go without alcohol for one month.
c. ask their family members if they have a drinking problem.
d. consult with their family physician about what constitutes a drinking problem.

Chapter 13: Could You Be Hiding Behind Your Religion (p. 107-111)
22. The main symptom of alcoholism, the family disease, is
a. tolerance.
b. denial.
c. anger.
d. depression.

Chapter 14: Intervention: Forcing the Alcoholic to Get Sober (p. 112-118)

23. Which is TRUE about interventions?
a. A spouse should wait until she is ready to face the consequences of an intervention.
b. Some Employee Assistance Programs can require the alcoholic to go to treatment.
c. Many recovering alcoholics are now grateful for the intervention of their family members.
d. All of the above.

Chapter 15: Trust Your Gut Feeling In Working with Professionals (p. 119-127)

24. The author believes that alcoholism is a disease. This means that alcoholism is physiologically induced and that mental problems come after the onset of alcoholism.
a. True
b. False

Chapter 16: The Alcoholic and the Kids vs. "Mean Mommy" (p. 128-134)

25. Therapists who are not familiar with the dynamics of alcoholism can mistake the wife of an alcoholic as having inappropriate anger toward her husband, who can turn on the charm and professionalism while in a counseling session.
The author said the most important way a wife can deal with being misunderstood as the crazy one is to go to Al-Anon meetings on a regular basis.
a. True
b. False

Chapter 17: Praying for People You Justifiably Resent (p. 135-138)

26. If a wife prays for her alcoholic husband,
a. her resentment toward him will decrease.
b. she will not see his alcoholism as a jail sentence she has to live with for the rest of her life.
c. she can then live the rest of her day without fear, uncertainty, and despair.
d. All of the above.

Chapter 18: Dealing with Irrational Guilt (p. 139-146)

27. The perfectionism of a wife of an alcoholic husband can be the result of irrational guilt, such as when a wife hyper-focuses on her own character defects, or refuses to have fun.
a. True
b. False

Chapter 19: Saying Alcoholism is a Disease Goes Deeper Than We Think (p. 143-146)

28. Which is TRUE?
a. AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) enables an alcoholic not only to stay sober, but to recover mentally and spiritually.
b. Alcoholism is a mental, physical, and spiritual disease that starts off physically.
c. There are many people who go through life drinking heavily and never become alcoholics.
d. All of the above.

Chapter 20: You're Not Trapped (p. 147-152)

29. The reason that the literature about alcoholism calls family members co-alcoholics is because these family members very often exhibit the same patterns of behavior as the alcoholic, with the exception of the drinking problem. Thus, family members have the same ____ as the alcoholic.
a. tolerance
b. intensity
c. anger
d. withdrawal

30. In this chapter, the author says that a person living with an alcoholic often can begin to calm down when he or she _____.
a. starts a regular exercise program.
b. is grateful for what is good in one's life
c. obtains 7-8 hours of sleep nightly.
d. develops more outside activities.

Chapter 21: From Rage to Pity -- A Trap (p. 153-161)

31. Practical ways that the author suggests for a wife to detach from painful things her alcoholic husband says to her include
a. to view their situations as a training ground to get stronger.
b. to make the alcoholic less important and herself more important.
c. to become less dependent upon him, such as calling him on the phone less often.
d. All of the above

Chapter 22: Getting Help (p. 162-167)

32. If a person doesn't drink Monday through Thursday, that person is still not sober during that time. It takes ___ for the alcohol to get out of a person's system, and it takes much longer for an individual to go through the protracted withdrawal syndrome to get really sober. Even to get slightly dry, the same ___, alcohol-free period is required. And that means going without one single drink.
a. 72 hours
b. 2 weeks
c. 30 days
d. 90 days

Chapter 23: If You and the Alcoholic Are Separated and You Cannot Stop Being Afraid or Angry (p. 168-174)

33. In this chapter, the wife made the mistake of

a. feeling pity for her husband and allowing him to keep the trailer.
b. taking revenge on her husband.
c. treating the problem of the trailer as a simple business transaction.
d. hiring an incompetent attorney.

Chapter 24: Will Counseling Help a Drinking Alcoholic? (p. 175-181)
34. Which is NOT true?
a. Most alcoholics don't tell the truth to a counselor because they have not surrendered.
b. If a wife and her alcoholic husband go to joint marriage counseling, then solving their marital problems first should lead to a resolution of his drinking problems.
c. Not all alcoholic treatment centers are AA-oriented (Alcoholics Anonymous).
d. A non-alcoholic spouse cannot cause alcoholism, cannot cure alcoholism, and cannot control alcoholism.

Chapter 25: Vacillation Is Okay -- You're Not Crazy (p. 182-187)

35. The alcoholic husband's disease tells him that he has all kinds of reasons to drink and that he does not have a drinking problem. The non-alcoholic wife's disease tells her that she is guilty for something.
a. True
b. False