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Experiencing Grief by H. Norman Wright © 2004
(B&H Publishing Group: Nashville, TN)
All rights reserved.
[Answer 14 of 20 questions correctly to receive
4 hours of Continuing Education credit.]


Chapter 1: The Faces of Grief (p. 3-8) and
Chapter 2: Pain and Denial (p. 9-11)

1. Which is NOT true?
a. Grief can make you think you are losing your mind.
b. We should try to resist grief and not yield to it.
c. Grief can be intense mental anguish or acute sorrow or deep remorse.
d. As grief continues, the more you feel that things will never get better. But they will.
e. It helps to deal with our pain a little at a time.

Chapter 3: Grief is so Disruptive (p. 12-14)
2. Which is NOT a normal result of grief?
a. short-term memory loss.
b. vividly re-living your final interaction with the person who died.
c. being easily distracted, disoriented, and indecisive.
d. choosing not to express mournful feelings.
e. shutting out the rest of the world for a time and focusing on yourself.
f. an initial comfort from friends, then an awkwardness around friends or a loss of friends.

Chapter 4: The Nature of Grief (p. 15-20)
3. Which is NOT true about the nature of grief?
a. Although grief tends to be slow and take longer than you have patience for, you can help speed it up by keeping very busy.
b. Others will be uncomfortable with your grief.
c. Don’t compare your loss with others and think their loss is worse or more painful than you think. The worse loss is the one you are experiencing at this time.
d. There is no other loss in our society that is so neglected as the death of a brother or sister.
e. The loss of a child is sometimes referred to as the ultimate bereavement.
f. To expectant parents, a miscarriage or still birth is just as much a loss as losing a 22-year old son.
g. With certain types of death, such as miscarriages, stillbirths, and the death of a close friend, you will not receive the same recognition or support as if you had lost a spouse, a child, or a parent.
h. Everyone grieves and heals differently. Some want to be connected to people as much as possible and others prefer to be left alone. You may need to let others know what you need as well as the best way for them to help you.

Chapter 5: Why Grief? (p. 18-20)
4. A “grief spasm” is an intense upsurge of grief that happens suddenly and when least expected.
It is disruptive and you feel out of control. What should you do when this happens?
a. Become busy and productive. This will help it to pass.
b. Call a close friend.
c. Stop what you are doing and identify your feelings until some level of calm is restored.
d. Take medication to fall asleep right away.

Chapter 6: What Grief Does (p. 21-23)
5. Which is TRUE about the “face in the crowd” syndrome?
a. You think you saw your lost one, or heard their voice, or smelled their perfume or cologne in a private or public place.
b. You might wake up at night and sense their presence in the room or hear them call your name.
c. This experience can last up to 18 months after your loved one has died.
d. All of the above.

Chapter 7: Hole in Your Life (p. 24-27) and
Chapter 8: The Question of Grief (p. 28-31)

6. When we grieve, we often ask “Why?” What is NOT true about our why questions?
a. Why is not just a question. It’s a heart-wrenching cry of protest, such as “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” (Matthew 27:46)
b. Why is saying: “I need some explanation. I need some answers.”
c. Continuing to ask why, even when God is silent, could lead to an acceptance of one’s situation, as it did for Habakkuk in 3:17-18.
d. God usually tells us the reason(s) for our suffering and sorrow.

Chapter 9: The Expression of Tears (p. 32-35)
7. Where does it say in the Bible that God is near to the brokenhearted?
a. Psalm 18:16-19
b. Psalm 34:18
c. Psalm 126:5-6
d. Revelation 21:4

Chapter 10: New Uninvited Guests (p. 36-37) and
Chapter 11: The Invasion of Fear and Anxiety (p. 38-39)

8. Grief brings a cluster of feelings: emptiness, loneliness, and isolation, as well as fear and anxiety. After Gregory Floyd lost his six-year old son, he needed
a. words of comfort.
b. touch, to be held.
c. meaningful activities; busyness.
d. peace and quiet.

Chapter 12: What Do I Do with My Guilt? (p. 40-42)
9. What is NOT true about regrets?
a. To get rid of regrets, it helps to write them down, and ask God to take them off your heart.
b. Sometimes regrets can be eased by replacing regrets and “if onlies” with these expressions: “I am hurt” and “I am angry”, experiences which caused the regrets in the first place.
c. The more regrets you have, the more you must have loved the one who died.
d. Regrets tend to recall all that was negative in your relationship with the person you lost while failing to remember the positives.

Chapter 13: “I’m Angry” (p. 43-47)
10. Which is NOT a healthy way to handle our anger?
a. We should identify anger as a sin and confess it.
b. At the moment of anger, try to accurately finish this sentence: “I am angry because…”
c. We should express our anger at God to Him, knowing that our anger of grief is a response to our loss, not a lack of faith.
d. Express your anger through a prayer journal rather than taking your anger out on family or friends.

Chapter 14: Will the Sadness Ever Go Away? (p. 48-57)
11. Which is NOT true?
a. It is a sin for a Christian to be depressed.
b. It is helpful to read the Book of Psalms when one is depressed or in despair. More than half the Psalms are laments that wrestle with the perceived absence of God felt by those who are depressed and in despair.
c. In the midst of emotional despair, one can experience the living God.
d. There is never a moment when God is not with us, especially when we are grieving.

Chapter 15: What Do I Do with My Feelings? (p. 52-57)
12. What should I NOT do with my feelings of grief?
a. Turn and face them, like a hiker facing a mountain lion.
b. Hold them back; bottle them up.
c. Put your feelings and thoughts into words, either verbally or in written form.
d. Tell family and friends how they can help you in your grief.

Chapter 16: The Feeling No One Talks About (p. 58-59)
13. After a person dies, sometimes a survivor will experience relief when
a. the one who died was very difficult to live with, being too critical, abusive, or oppressive.
b. the survivor was the deceased person’s caregiver, and death lifted the survivor’s burden that had no other way of changing.
c. the one who died was lingering with a painful terminal illness, and death ended their suffering.
d. All of the above.

Chapter 17: Complicated Deaths (p. 60-63)
Chapter 18: Handling Special Occasions (p. 64-65)

14. After a loved one dies, how does the author recommend the bereaved handle special occasions?
a. Don’t attend special occasions for the first year.
b. Decide how you want to handle each event and discuss this with family members.
c. Decide whether or not to attend events based upon how many people will be disappointed if you don’t attend.
d. Since you cannot be objective in your grief, let your closest family members decide for you.

Chapter 19: Capturing the Memories (p. 66-67)
15. What is NOT true about memories of your loved one?
a. Memories will fade over time.
b. Accumulate stories that tell the kind of person your loved one was.
c. Keep your memories limited so it won’t be so painful.
d. Telling others about your memories is just as helpful to you, if not more so, as it is for others.

Chapter 20: Recovery -- It Will Happen (p. 68-70)
16. Which is NOT true about recovery?
a. Psalmists and prophets often asked God “How long will my grief take? When will it be over?”
b. Six to nine months after the death of your loved one, you need to consider the state of your emotional and physical health.
c. Letting go of your loved one is not the same as not caring about your loved one. It does not mean not remembering your loved one.
d. If after eighteen months you are still having painful memories, you are not properly recovering.

Chapter 21: Unfinished Issues (p. 71-72)
Chapter 22: Saying Good-bye (p. 73-75)
17. What is NOT true about saying good-bye to our loved one?
a. If we don’t forgive hurts and offenses from the one who died, we sentence ourselves to the prison of resentment.
b. After you have been grieving for awhile, it is not possible to give yourself permission to stop grieving.
c. If your loved one shared your faith in Christ, it helps to picture him or her in the presence of Jesus, experiencing the joy of His closeness, and knowing you will be reunited someday.
d. Goodbye begins with accepting the reality of your loss, working through your pain, adjusting to life without your loved one, withdrawing your emotional energy from the person and reinvesting it elsewhere, and finally, changing the relationship with your loved one from one of presence to one of memory.

Chapter 23: How Your Life Will Change (p. 76-78)
18. Which is NOT true about how grief will change your life?
a. God does not want us to remember our loved one’s weaknesses or mistakes, but rather our loved one’s strengths and the good times.
b. In and of itself, suffe3ring has no value; it is how we respond to suffering that gives it meaning and value.
c. God can awaken a strength, a dormant talent, a new sense of compassion for the struggles and hurts of others, or a new relationship with God.
d. Those who lose a loved one and move forward in their grief become more aware and more sensitive to the loved ones they still have.

Chapter 24: Saying Good-bye to Grief (p. 79-82)
19. All of the following are signs that you are recovering from your grief EXCEPT
a. a shift from remembering your loved one to thinking more about your own life now and in the future.
b. less fatigue and more energy.
c. no more “grief spasms”.
d. ability to make better judgments.
e. eating and sleeping better.
f. looking forward to holidays.
g. a reduction in crying.
h. A return to regular exercise.
i. For the Christian, the replacement of despair with hope: “The Lord will be your everlasting light, and your days of sorrow will end (Isaiah 60:20).

Chapter 25: Trauma -- The Deepest Wound (p. 83-85)
20. Which is NOT true about the nature of trauma?
a. Trauma makes you feel out of control.
b. Trauma inhibits your ability to reason.
c. Trauma overwhelms your coping ability.
d. Your deepest religious beliefs will not be shaken by trauma.
e. Trauma leads to silence; you are unable to describe it.
f. Trauma leads to isolation; no one seems to understand what you are going through.
g. Trauma leads to feelings of hopelessness.