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Dr. Gary Chapman on The Marriage You've Always Wanted
by Gary Chapman, Ph.D.
© 2005.
(Moody Publishers: Chicago, IL). All rights reserved. [158 pages]

[Answer 11 of 15 questions correctly to receive
7 hours of Continuing Education credit.]


Chapter 1: Why Do People Marry? (p. 15-20)
1. God’s supreme purpose of marriage is
a. security.
b. children.
c. unity.
d. encouragement.

Chapter 2: Why Won’t They CHANGE? (p. 23-29)

2. Most couples who have marital problems believe that
a. they married the wrong person.
b. they did not receive enough preparation for marriage.
c. their marriage would improve if their spouse would change.
d. marriage is the hardest thing they have ever done.

3. The best way to improve your marriage is
a. hold your spouse accountable for their behavior.
b. keep forgiving your spouse for their failures.
c. maintain a balanced view of your spouse’s strengths and weaknesses.
d. focus on changing your own faults.

Chapter 3: What Love Really Means (p. 41-54)

4. In Ephesians 5:25, husbands are commanded to love their wives. In Titus 2:3-4, wives must be taught to love their husbands. What is TRUE about this love?
a. A husband cannot love his wife unless he feels positive toward her.
b. It is the power of God that enables a husband to express kindness toward his wife when he has negative feelings toward her.
c. A wife who has negative emotions must express them before they build up and cause damage.
d. It is hypocritical for a wife to love her husband when she feels negative toward him.

5. A husband is far more motivated to attend to household tasks when
a. his wife does them with him.
b. is wife pays him a compliment.
c. his wife doesn’t remind him to do them.
d. his wife promises to do something for him in return.

I Peter 4:8 “Love covers a multitude of sins.”

6. What finally made the author’s wife learn to close drawers after she opened them?
a. months and months of Gary complaining about open drawers.
b. their 18 month-old daughter falling and cutting the corner of her eye on the edge of an open drawer.
c. She didn’t learn to close drawers. Gary decided to just be miserable each time he saw an open drawer.
d. She didn’t learn to close drawers. Without hostility or negative emotion, Gary decided to accept her as a “drawer opener” and close them himself.

Chapter 4: Listen to Me! (p. 57-72)

7. During a marital conversation, a practical way to control one’s rising anger is by
a. making a temporary withdrawal.
b. restating your thoughts to your spouse.
c. telling your spouse to stop interrupting you.
d. recognize that most of the time your anger comes from a longing for justice.

8. How did the author’s wife let him know that it bothered her when he left hairs in the bathroom sink?
a. She simply told him it bothered her when he left hairs in the sink.
b. She paid him three specific compliments before she said anything about the hairs.
c. She reminded him of how long he had been doing this.
d. She appealed to his sense of fairness and reason when she asked him why she should put up with such a nasty habit.

Chapter 5: Who Takes Care of What? (p. 75-85)

New Testament References to Working Women

Priscilla, a tentmaker -- Acts 18:2,18,26; Romans 16:3; I Corinthians 16:19; II Timothy 4:19
Lydia, a seller of purple fabrics -- acts 16:14
Women who traveled with Jesus and contributed financially to His ministry -- Luke 18:2,3 (Mary Magdalene; Joanna the wife of Chuza, Herod’s steward; Susanna; and many others)

9. What did the author conclude about biblical teaching on household duties?
a. A stay-at-home mother should do the majority of the chores.
b. A father who is a very good provider should primarily relax at home and do a minimum of chores.
c. The Bible does not specifically say who should do what; rather it teaches that both a husband and wife should agree on their specific duties.
d. Men do repair jobs, cut the lawn, take out the garbage, take care of the cars, etc. Women cook, clean the house, do laundry, and tend to the children.

Chapter 6: Decisions, Decisions (p. 89-101)

10. What does it mean when the Bible says that the man is to be the head of the woman (I Corinthians 11:3)?
a. In every decision he makes, the husband should seek the best interests of his wife.
b. The wife should try to be more agreeable and less opinionated.
c. The husband is more inclined to make decisions based on objectivity rather than emotions.
d. Submission is more important than unity.

11. According to Ephesians 5:21,22, submission is best understood as
a. a responsibility the wife can fulfill only if her husband loves her as Christ loves the church.
b. the husband making the more important decisions.
c. the wife’s responsibility to her husband.
d. the mutual responsibility of a husband toward his wife and his wife toward him.

Chapter 7: You Mean We Have to Work at Sex (p. 103-118)

12. Which is TRUE about sexual behavior?
a. It has been highly effective in delaying intercourse when young people sign a pledge.
b. As a whole, Evangelicals are against pre-marital sex.
c. The divorce rate among those having pre-marital sex is twice as high as those who did not have sex before marriage.
d. Among couples engaged to marry, full disclosure of past sexual experiences is not a good idea.

13. What should a wife do when her husband wants to have sex more often than she does?
a. Have her hormone level checked and perhaps begin medication.
b. Go ahead and accommodate his needs without the pressure of having an orgasm herself.
c. Politely let him know that he is just going to have to wait until she is ready.
d. Tell him he is going to have to be kinder, more helpful, a better listener, and more affectionate than he has been in order for her to have sex more often.

Chapter 8: Leaving and Honoring Parents (p. 121-131)

14. Which best demonstrates the principle of “leaving” one’s parents Genesis 2:24)?
a. A young married couple temporarily living with the wife’s parents until they can save money.
b. A husband standing up to his mother after she criticizes his wife.
c. A wife’s parents loaning her and her husband money for a business venture.
d. A husband threatening to never speak to his parents again unless they apologize for a remark they made during a recent family vacation.

Chapter 9: Love and Money (p. 133-147)

15. Which is NOT true?
a. A full disclosure of assets and liabilities should be made before marriage by both partners.
b. When the author’s wife comes home from a shopping spree, he asks her how much she spent.
c. Most of us use credit cards because we want now what we cannot pay for now.
d. Between a husband and wife, the person who pays the bills should be the one most qualified for the task.