Love as a Way of Life -- Seven Keys to Transforming Every Aspect of Your Life

by Dr. Gary Chapman

Dr. Chapman is the author of The New York Times bestseller The Five Love Languages.
He has been married for almost fifty years and has a lifetime of counseling experience.

Counselors will help their clients to develop what Dr. Chapman identifies as the seven habits of a loving person:

1. Kindness -- The joy of meeting someone else's needs before your own simply for the sake of the relationship.
Skills learned: How to value every person; How to replace unwholesome words with wholesome words; How to practice kindness.

2. Patience -- Allowing someone to be imperfect.
Skills learned: How to recognize pride as the source of impatience; How to focus on the problem and not the person; How to listen effectively.

3. Forgiveness -- Using honesty, compassion, and self-awareness to reconcile with someone who has hurt you.
Skills learned: Balancing one's need for justice with the need for love; How to practice forgiveness in little matters; Releasing unapologetic people to God; How to return good for bad.

4. Courtesy -- The act of treating everyone as a friend.
Skills learned: How to initiate a conversation; How to give your undivided attention ; How to listen to understand someone instead of to judge that person; How to not raise your voice; How to be gracious; How to listen empathetically; How to make requests, not demands.

5. Humility -- A peacefulness of heart that allows you to stand aside in order to affirm the value of someone.
Skills learned: How to put others first without devaluing oneself; How to sacrifice for others; How to recognize the needs of others How to learn from criticism without striking back.

6. Generosity -- Giving your attention, time, abilities, money, and compassion freely to others.
Skills learned: How to find out what others need; Being generous on your job; Using your abilities to help others.

7. Honesty -- A loving consistency in speech, thought, and action.
Skills learned: How to be open about our weaknesses; Not telling small lies; How to rebuild trust.

Other skills learned: How the feelings of being in love are different than the loving actions.