How to Really Parent Your Child: Anticipating What a Child Needs Instead of Reacting to What a Child Does

(Ross Campbell, M.D. and Robb Suggs)

Dr. Ross Campbell has over 30 years of clinical psychiatric experience with children and their parents. In this book, he advocates that parents anticipate their children's needs rather than react to their behaviors.

Thus, counselors can use this material to help their parent-clients develop a relational rather than an adversarial family structure. Dr. Campbell targets four needs of children: 1) to be nurtured in unconditional love, 2) to be lovingly disciplined, 3) to be trained in anger management, and 4) to be protected from harmful influences.

This material will enable counselors to help their parent-clients:

1. Learn how to love their children by making eye contact, touching them, and giving them focused attention.

2. Learn how to ask the question, "Does my child need their love tank filled?" when their child misbehaves.

3. Learn Dr. Campbell's sequence of parental discipline: 1) Requests 2) Commands 3) Gentle physical manipulation 4) Punishment 5) Behavior Modification.

4. Learn how parents can avoid creating anger or resentment in their children.

5. Learn how to help their children verbally express their anger.

6. Learn how to recognize "stealth anger" in such behaviors as drug experimentation, a sudden pattern of bad grades, and active disobedience.

7. Learn how to use constructive self-talk to control their temper when they hear their child make unpleasant remarks.

8. Learn how to keep informed of the latest technology.

9. Learn how to ask forgiveness for parental mistakes.

10. Learn how a major factor in childhood depression is the loss of extended families where, in a career driven, mobile society there are fewer grandparents, aunts, and uncles around to provide that extra layer of nurture and reassurance that blessed so many children of past generations.

11. Learn how to compensate for giving teens physical affection if they don't receive it.

12. Learn that the number one thing children want from their parents is unconditional love.