Chapter Two: In Marriage, the Mouth Matters (p. 37-53)
2. What is a good response from a husband or wife when their spouse uses a “hot-button” word or phrase?
a. “Don’t speak that way to me.”
b. “That’s not true.”
c. “I realize you’re just frustrated with me right now.”
d. “You’re not perfect either.”

3. Emerson believes that the Bible teaches that men and women have equal value in the eyes of God (Galatians 3:28) but are made very differently from each other (Genesis 1:27). What two examples does he use to highlight these differences?
a. Men struggle with pornography. Women struggle with pre-menstral syndrome.
b. Men should go to work. Women with children should stay at home.
c. Men are much better at achieving rather than nurturing. Women prefer nurturing over achieving.
d. Men are stronger. Women are more delicate.

Chapter Four: Can You Trust Your Spouse’s Goodwill? (Can Your Spouse Trust Yours?) (p. 70-88)
4. The author promotes which view of human nature?
a. People are primarily good.
b. People are totally depraved by sin and cannot really do good.
c. People are both created in the image of God and are sinful.
d. People are too pessimistic.

5. Why should a spouse be viewed as a “good-willed” person?
a. Because Jesus viewed people this way when He taught that “the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak.” (Matthew 26:41)
b. Because the apostle Paul viewed people this way when he said in Romans 7:10, “I don’t do the good things I want to do. I keep on doing the evil things I don’t want to do.”
c. Because, in general, each husband and wife is concerned about pleasing  each other. (I Corinthians 7:32-34)
d. all of the above

Chapter Five: Decode and Stop the Crazy Cycle (p. 89-101)
6. During their airport scene, Emerson says that if had focused on what Sarah wasn’t explicitly saying, he would have heard this:
a. “I haven’t eaten for awhile and I’m really hungry.”
b. “I’m in the mood for some fast food.”
c. “I’d like to spend some time with you.”
d. “Why are you always so preoccupied?”

Chapter Six: “Ouch! You’re Stepping on My Air Hose!” (p. 102-117)
7. If, when discussing a topic, a husband feels disrespected or a wife feels unloved, their experience of feeling disrespected or unloved now becomes more important than the topic they were discussing. Each should then stop and say,
a. “You’re coming across as unloving or disrespectful.”
b. “That felt disrespectful. Did I just come across as unloving?” or “That felt unloving. Did I just come across as disrespectful?”
c. “I may have been unloving (or disrespectful), but that doesn’t justify your unkind or insulting behavior.”
d. “I’m really making an effort here to communicate and you’re being uncooperative. How come?”

Chapter Seven: Forgiveness -- The Ultimate Strategy for Halting the Crazy Cycle (p. 118-136)
8. When the author was 10 years old, he told his mother how hurt and angry he was because of his father’s neglect and cursing at him. His mother said, “Well, your dad did not have a dad. His dad died when he was three years old. He doesn’t know how to be a daddy.” The author’s mother was
a. sympathizing with the offender.
b. making excuses for her husband’s behavior.
c. relinquishing the offense to God.
d. anticipating help from God.

9. The ultimate reason for forgiving others is following the example of Christ, who forgave those who unjustly crucified Him: “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” (Luke 22:34). “When they hurled insults at Him, He did not retaliate; when He suffered, He entrusted Himself to Him who judges justly.” (I Peter 2:23). What is the major reason why husbands and wives do not practice forgiveness toward each other?
a. Because their spouse doesn’t ask for forgiveness, why should they?
b. Because they hold onto bitterness and revenge in their hearts.
c. Because forgiveness doesn’t seem to change their spouse’s behavior.
d. Because forgiveness seems to leave them defenseless and unprotected.

10. What happens when a husband or wife anticipates God working in their marriage instead of just trying to solve their own problems?
a. Their marriage always gets better.
b. Their spouse begins showing more love and respect.
c. Their spouse recognizes this effort and expresses appreciation for it.
d. It becomes easier for them to give up resentment when they are expecting God’s help.

Chapter Eight: Enjoying Win-Win Communication on the Energizing Cycle (p. 137-160)
11. This chapter speaks quite encouragingly about the possibility (not certainty) of marital improvements when husbands and wives use C-O-U-P-L-E and C-H-A-I-R-S to energize each other. For example, a wife whose husband works long hours decides to praise him for being such a good provider for their family instead of attacking his wrong priorities. In turn, her husband, feeling more respected, understands more of his wife’s desire for him to show his commitment to her. He makes every effort to leave work and arrive home with a cheerful attitude. Practically speaking, what should a husband or wife do when they use C-O-U-P-L-E and C-H-A-I-R-S but their spouse does not change?
a. They should keep expecting their spouse to change. It’s a natural human longing to want our spouses to change for the better.
b. When change doesn’t happen, one spouse should confront the other.
c. Each spouse must use these tools unconditionally, especially when positive changes are not forthcoming.
d. They should stop doing these good behaviors until their spouse makes positive changes. Marriage should be a mutual, not a one-way, endeavor.

Chapter Nine: Decode -- and Then Use C-H-A-I-R-S to Energize Him (p. 161-179)
12. One of the best ways for a wife to be a friend to her husband is to
a. sit next to him or near him and say nothing.
b. give him advice.
c. agree with him.
d. spend less money.

13. According to the Michele Weiner-Davis, therapist and author, what should a wife do when her husband wants to have sex more than she does?
a. She should explain to him that she shouldn’t have to become more sexual in order to get more love and attention from him.
b. She should bargain with him: “I’ll have more sex if you’ll help with the household chores.”
c. She should tell him to divert his extra energy into hobbies and charitable work.
d. She should have more sex with her husband and watch the results!

Chapter Ten: Decode -- and Then Use C-O-U-P-L-E to Energize Her (p. 180-196)
14. The most effective way for a husband to promote peace and harmony with his wife is to
a. make love to her.
b. ask her forgiveness.
c. compliment her front of others.
d. do household chores.

15. A husband who regularly tells his wife what he likes and appreciates about her is meeting her need for
a. openness.
b. understanding.
c. loyalty.
d. esteem.

Chapter Eleven: Dealing with the Everyday Challenge (p. 197-210)
16. When he was at Wheaton College, the author learned from Dr. Lois LeBar to watch the facial expressions of others to determine if his communication tended to draw them closer or drive them away. What does the author tell husbands and wives to do in order for them to become more aware of their own facial expressions and tone of voice?
a. re-enact a recent argument in the bathroom mirror, alone.
b. ask their spouse how they come across.
c. go get the professional opinion of a marriage counselor.
d. video-record themselves during an argument.

Chapter Twelve: More Strategies for Dealing with Communication Glitches (p. 211-227)
17. What advice does Emerson give to a talkative wife?
a. keep talking -- you’re just made that way.
b. keep talking -- over the years this will influence your husband to talk  more as well.
c. talk less -- her husband will generally perceive this as more respectful behavior toward him.
c. have several close girlfriends who will meet your need for talking better than your husband does.

18. What advice does Emerson gives to a non-talkative husband?
a. You’re fine the way you are -- let your wife do the talking.
b. Listen to your wife -- this meets her deep emotional needs.
c. If your wife is speaking to you disrespectfully, lovingly ask her to calm down.
d. b and c

Chapter Thirteen: Why the Rewarded Cycle is for Every Marriage -- Hot, Cold, or Lukewarm (p. 229-248)
19. A wife notices that her husband moves toward her lovingly only when she is “good.” What should this wife do when her husband only loves her conditionally?
a. Point out to him his inconsistency and ask him to make more of an effort.
b. Respect him unconditionally anyway, looking only for God’s favor as her reward.
c. Back away from him when he is being unloving.
d. Realize that the Love and Respect strategy doesn’t reward every marital situation.

Chapter Fourteen: The Jesus Way of Talking -- Part I -- Communicating with Love and Respect (p. 249-264)
20. What does the author recommend as a way to remember that whatever you are saying to your partner, you are also saying to Christ?
a. wear or carry a crucifix.
b. picture Christ standing behind your spouse’s shoulder.
c. remember Christ’s words in Matthew 25:40, “Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to Me.”
d. b and c.

21. Some married people have a difficult time talking the Jesus way of talking consistently to their spouse. They say, “My spouse has some real problems. Everyone thinks my spouse is a wonderful person, but you don’t know my spouse like I do.” If you were a marriage counselor, what is the best response to this?
a. “Do you extend the same grace and mercy to your spouse as you extend to yourself?”
b. “You’re right. Let’s work on a strategy for improving your spouse.”
c. “It’s possible that you are a better person than your spouse.”
d. “Perhaps your spouse has this same perspective of you!”

Chapter Fifteen: The Jesus Way of Talking -- Part II -- To Love and Respect, Use Truthful, Uplifting and Forgiving Words (p. 265-287)
22. Which is NOT true?
a. If a wife wants her husband to be more loving, she should be his friend.
b. A wife can reduce her criticism of her husband by focusing on his good qualities.
c. If a husband has been loving to his wife all day, he can expect to have sex that night.
d. Wives are uplifted by talking.

Chapter Sixteen: The Jesus Way of Talking -- Part III -- To Love or Respect, Be Thankful, Scriptural -- and Faithful (p. 288-308)
23. Which is TRUE about offering a sacrifice of thanksgiving?
a. Joking around is always a good way for a husband to show how thankful he is for his wife.
b. Express thankfulness only if you think it will be well-received.
c. Always be looking for something to be thankful for.
d. If you are uncomfortable with expressing thankfulness, then don’t. Just act thankful.

24. The main reason why Jack and Lisa’s marriage was healed was because
a. Lisa learned to become comfortable with sexual intimacy.
b. Jack made a commitment to love her unconditionally.
c. Lisa sought counseling help for her past disappointments with men.
d. Jack kept her from leaving.

Conclusion: In God Always Trust (p. 309-319)
25. What advice does Emerson give his newly married son and daughter-in-law?
a. Always ask God to meet whatever need is causing your stress.
b. Depend on God, not your mate, to meet all you needs.
c. Never stop unconditionally loving and respecting each other.
d. all of the above.