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Back from Betrayal -- Recovering from His Affairs
by Jennifer P. Schneider
2001. (Second Edition) Recovery Resources Press (Tuczon, AZ).
All rights reserved. [274 pages].
[Answer 14 of 20 questions correctly to receive
14 hours of Continuing Education credit].

 

Chapter 1: The Problem of Addiction to Affairs (p. 15-28)
1. According to Francine Klagsburn, author of Married People Staying Together in the Age of Divorce, the key to keeping a relationship going is
a. romantic love.
b. commitment.
c. having children.
d. economic stability.
 
Chapter 2: Characteristics of the Coaddict (p. 29-45)

2. Because the wife of a sex addict is addicted to her husband, she will
a. eventually acquire an eating disorder.
b. develop a drinking habit to cope with his behavior.
c. mistakenly view the intense, stressful feelings he provokes as love and intimacy.
d. be inclined to seek revenge through her own sexual addiction behavior.
 
3. The coaddict believes she can control her husband’s addictive behavior. By doing so, she actually enables it to continue. Which of the following is NOT an enabling behavior?
a. ignoring evidence of an affair
b. keeping silent about her hurt feelings
c. engaging in sexual activities with her husband that are against her values
d. referring him to a treatment program for sexual addiction
 
Chapter 3: The Family Connection (p. 47-67)

4. Codependents find it difficult to
a. have fun.
b. follow the rules.
c. help others.
d. keep secrets.
 
5. Which of the following roles represent the child who seeks attention through negative behavior?
a. Hero
b. Scapegoat
c. Lost Child
d. Mascot
 
Chapter 4: Characteristics of the Man Who Has Affairs (p. 69-86)

6. Which is TRUE about sexual addiction behavior?
a. The sex addict takes more and more risks in order to get the same level of excitement.
b. The sex addict continues his behavior in spite of negative consequences.
c. The sex addict often feels guilt and shame for behavior he cannot stop, in spite of his repeated promises to do so.
d. All of the above.
 
Chapter 5: Life on the Roller Coaster with The Addicted Couple
(p. 87-106)

7. If the wife of a sex addict finally hurts enough to begin to pull away from her husband, he will
a. not even notice.
b. come to his senses and seek out a treatment program.
c. suddenly find her attractive and change for a time, then revert back to his old behavior.
d. understand how difficult it is for her to assert herself and respect her for it.
 
Chapter 6: How Society Supports Addictive Behavior (p. 107-121)

8. Which of the following would the author applaud and respect?
a. A woman who reads romance novels to relax.
b. The outcome of Tolstoy’s novel Anna Karenina.
c. Marabel Morgan’s advice in her book The Total Woman.
d. A man who at a convention declines to accompany his colleagues in their pursuit of a one-night stand.
 
Chapter 7: Cybersex Addiction in the Twenty-First Century
(p. 123-134)

9. The cybersex addict
a. makes excuses to avoid sex with his wife.
b. often seems emotionally detached and distant during sex with his wife.
c. wants his wife to engage in sexual activities she finds objectionable.
d. All of the above.
 
10. A counselor can help the wife of a cybersex addict by
a. helping her to understand that Internet pornography is not adulterous.
b. reassuring her that cybersex images can “spice up” her love life.
c. becoming knowledgeable about sexual addiction and its treatment.
d. improving her marital communication with her husband which will
    decrease his need for computer pornography.
 
Chapter 8: “There’s No Reason to Stop” (p 135-152)

11. In an article entitled “The Age of AIDS: A great time for defensive living”, Dr. George Lundberg says: “This is a great time to _________.”
a. “practice monogamy.”
b. “use condoms.”
c. “avoid anal intercourse.”
d. “make antibiotics available to everyone.”
 
12. If a husband has herpes and his wife does not, she can reduce her chances of contracting the disease by
a. the husband’s use of antiviral drugs.
b. abstaining from intercourse while his ulcers are visible and having him use a condom.
c. taking prescription medicine as a prevention.
d. making no changes. Since herpes is incurable, she will contract it from her husband.
 
Chapter 9: The Elements of Recovery (p. 153-186)

13. Codependency is caused by
a. living with an addict.
b. a lack of self-nurturing.
c. genetic inheritance.
d. a chemical imbalance.
 
14. Robert Jordan recommends developing one’s spiritual life instead of pursuing romantic love. Romantic love cannot provide the meaning, fulfillment, and wholeness everyone is looking for because
a. it is self-centered; it is not concerned with a spouse’s well-being.
b. it is based upon short-term ecstasy and passion rather than long-term caring and commitment.
c. it reduces one’s spouse to a symbol instead of a real person.
d. All of the above.
 
Chapter 10: Recovery as a Couple (p. 187-217)
15. In his recovery program for sexual addiction, a husband signs a 90-day contract that prohibits sex with self or others. An appropriate response from his wife is
a. to feel hurt and rejected that her needs are being neglected.
b. to suggest a different recovery program that doesn’t make such unrealistic demands.
c. to look forward to promoting closeness through nonsexual touching.
d. to promote her own fantasy life until his abstinence period is over.
 
16. Concerning how much a husband should tell his wife about his past affair(s),
a. it is her decision how much she should be told.
b. he should tell her as little as possible.
c. it is essential that he tell her everything in order for trust to be restored.
d. he should tell her everything except explicit sexual details.
 
17. According to Dr. James C. Dobson, author of Love Must Be Tough, the wife who says to her husband, “If you have one more affair, I will leave you”,
a. is giving an unfair ultimatum.
b. is setting an appropriate limit.
c. is enabling her husband to cheat again.
d. is trying to control his behavior.
 
Chapter 11: My Wife is the Sex Addict (p. 219-227)

18. Which is FALSE?
a. When a wife discovers her husband’s sexual addiction, she is likely to blame herself.
b. Husbands of female sex addicts are more likely to divorce their spouses than wives of male sex addicts.
c. When a married woman has affairs, society usually blames her husband.
d. A husband’s initial reaction to his wife’s affair is usually anger instead of depression.
 
Chapter 12: Recovery as a Single Person (p. 229-240)

19. Which of the following does NOT help a recovering single co-addict avoid another addictive relationship?
a. Dating someone to whom there is an instant attraction.
b. Relieving feelings of loneliness in nonsexual ways.
c. Developing social skills and friendship instead of pursuing sexual involvement.
d. Not dating someone for 6 to 12 months.
 
Chapter 13: Conclusions

20. Healthy children (i.e. not codependent) need all of the following EXCEPT
a. delayed gratification.
b. play.
c. self-discipline.
d. a shield from stress.